I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
