some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
