Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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