I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
