It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
