uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
