it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
