i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
