Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
