hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize