I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
