Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
