Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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