i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Sober January is a disaster.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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