Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
