Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
