stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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