apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
