His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
