Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
