stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
