I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I smell stomach acid.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
