He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
