I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
