i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
