Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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