She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
