well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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