**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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