Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
