I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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