She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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