come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
