i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
