okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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