Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
you never un-have a 4some
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
