He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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