I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The air taste purple.
Randomize
