Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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