He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
