I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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