We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
