There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
