My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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