she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
That's how pantless uber rides happen
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
