uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Randomize
