Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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