You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize