You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
