I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
