And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
