who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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