on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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