i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
